#educoachOC Chat 12: A Coaching Way of Being

Our next #educoachOC chat will explore the notion of ‘a coaching way of being’.

The phrase “way of being” in the context of one-to-one relationships originates in the work of psychologist Carl Rogers (1980) whose ‘person-centred’ theories remain at the root of coaching today.

Christian van Nieuwerburgh (2014) presents three elements of effective coaching as shown in the diagram below. (This version was adapted for a previous blog post to distinguish between the components that come into play in formal coaching conversations and a coaching ‘style’ of conversation).

coaching-cycle-v-coaching-style1

A coaching way of being could be thought of as the difference between doing coaching and being a coach. We can all develop a set of helpful coaching skills such as effective questioning, active listening, paraphrasing, etc., and we may choose to utilise a particular coaching process, model or framework to help manage the conversation, but how does the coach need to ‘be’ for the benefit of the coachee? Essentially, this idea is about how a coach ‘shows up’ for a coaching conversation in order to best facilitate deep reflection and thinking on the part of the coachee.

We might also think of a coaching way of being as something that develops over time as we become more skilled and less conscious of our deliberate application of the other, perhaps more practical, aspects of coaching. Our #educoachOC co-moderator Deb Netolicky recently wrote a very helpful blog (related to this topic) on the notion of curiosity in a coaching relationship. This post, and the comments, highlights the importance of teasing out the meaning of the language we use and the nuanced application of this in practice.

Finally, many of us who have been involved in coaching and coaching training have commented, often fairly early in the journey, that the process of learning about coaching, being coached, and coaching others changes our way of being in a whole range of conversational contexts, both professional  and personal.

Here are the chat questions:

  1. What attributes and attitudes might we notice in someone who has developed a coaching ‘way of being’?
  2. How might we develop this way of being over time?
  3. How does a coach need to ‘show up’ for a coaching conversation and how does their way of being come into play?
  4. How might a coaching stance and way of being apply in other conversational contexts?
  5. As this month’s #educoachOC chat draws to a close, what’s become clearer for you now?

The chat will be held on Monday 3rd October at 8.30pm AEDT. Please note that daylight saving time changes take effect in some part of Australia before this chat. Here are some other timezone start times: 5.30am Toronto, 10.30am Glasgow, 1.30pm Dubai, 5.30pm Perth, 7.30pm Brisbane, 8pm Adelaide, 10.30pm Auckland.

References:

Rogers, C. R. (1980). A Way of Being. Boston, MA: Houghton Mifflin.

van Nieuwerburgh, C. (2014). An Introduction to Coaching Skills: A Practical Guide. London: Sage.

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